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CONTACTS & MAILING LISTS

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CONTACTS & MAILING LISTS

“Learn step-by-step how compile your contact & mailing lists to give you publicity and help to give you a reputation as the smartest person in the room”.

By: John D. Gaskell, author of:

           How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room.

You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius.

 

Contacts & Mailing Lists (Part 21 of a multi-part article)

Understand why collecting business cards and starting a contacts list will help your reputation. Realize why you should expand your mailing list to include all the “Players” in your industry.

 

Contacts List

Collect business cards from those that you want to get to know and start a “Contacts List”, including both business and personal information.

I recommend using a “contacts form” for each person on your list. At the top of each sheet would be the same information as on a mailing label, plus telephone and fax numbers as well as e-mail address. Also, note company affiliation and any personal information, including how you met (if you have) or how you know of them.

The purpose of these contacts forms is so you will remember when and how the person got on your mailing list. They may have called you for a fee proposal, you may have met them at a meeting, or you may have found their name on-line. Each time that you contact the person, list the date and details on this sheet. You may find a computer program to do all of this for you; the important thing is to have this information in some easily accessible form.

 

Mailing List

When I first started my electrical consulting engineering practice, all my clients were architects, and there were about 30 potential clients listed in the phone book’s Yellow Pages. But by the end of my first year, my mailing list had expanded to over 500 names. I included all the architects (even those who I didn’t know or said they used someone else). Each time that I prepared a fee proposal for someone not on the list, I added them. In addition, I added the following:

Electrical Inspectors (People enquire: Who should I get to draw my electrical plans?)

Electrical Supply Companies (Same question.)

Electrical Contractors (Same question, plus they may hire your firm for design–build projects.)

Housing Authorities (Director and facilities Manager.)

Superintendents of Fire Alarms (People enquire: Who do I hire to design my fire alarm system?)

Power Company Representatives (Plus, President and department heads.)

Electrical Manufacturers Representatives (Many also call on architects.)

Hospitals (Director of Facilities and President.)

Universities (Director of Facilities and President.)

Make your own list to suit your clients and industry. Your first mailing should be your business announcement.

Once you are in business, I recommend a minimum of two mailings per year.

I used to send Thanksgivings cards; people notice them because they don’t get many and it avoids a religious connotation associated with Christmas.

My second yearly mailing was either a “News Letter” or “Reprint” of a magazine article authored by me or about one of my projects.

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to stand-out. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Learn how to become admired and to gain contacts. Find out how to become the smartest person in the room. Discover how to appear professional. Find out how to appear knowledgeable. Learn how to obtain training as a public speaker.

 

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MY LISTS SAVE TIME FOR YOU

YOUR CAREER CHOICE, Lists, Contacts

LISTS

None of these lists will cause you to be perceived to be “The Smartest Person in the Room.” But, they will simplify your life by making repetitive tasks easier and avoid forgetting things. If you are truly “smart”, you will not skip these.

By: John D. Gaskell, author of:

           How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room.

You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius.

 

My Other Lists (Part 20 of a multi-part article)

Below, I have provided other lists. None of these will cause you to be perceived to be “The Smartest Person in the Room.” But, they will simplify your life by making repetitive tasks easier and avoid forgetting things. If you are truly “smart”, you will not skip these.

 

Again, tailor each to suite your places and preferences.

  • RI Restaurants (Healthy Meals)
  • RI Places, Times & Places
  • Grocery List

Each of my lists are free to download from my website: http://www.TheEngineersResource.com. Just modify them to meet your needs.

 

RESTAURANTS (Healthy Meals)

Applebee’s                         Salad

*Bertucci’s                          Side order of meatballs with rolls & better

*Caserta                              Spinach Pie

Chellos’s                              Soup/Salad

*Cowesset Pizza                Gyro

Crow’s Nest                        Peal & Eat Shrimp

*Friendly’s                          Grilled Cheese & steamed vegetables

Governor’s Inn                  Hamburger Plate (*Grilled Cheese & steamed vegetables or Soup & Salad)

Greggs/Chellos’s              Summer Picnic Salad

Jersey Mike’s                     Meatballs

Johnny Rocket’s                Chilly & tuna sandwich (skip most of bread)

KFC                                        Breast (* & biscuit)

Little Falls                            Willow tree chicken salad or scrambled eggs with cheese

Little John’s                        Eggplant, meatballs or sausage

Mystic II                               Cheeseburger Salad (NO: cucumbers, mushrooms, peppers, iceberg lettuce)

Neighborhood Bakery    Chilly

Newport Creamery         2 Hotdog special, (*Grilled Cheese or cheese burger)

New Canton                       2 egg rolls, (*Curried chicken lo-main (no msg, mushrooms, and water chestnuts); or wanton soup

*Panera Bread                  Soup or Salad

Pizza Fair                              Tuna Salad

*Rim Nahm                        Pineapple Fried Rice

Sienna                                  Veal Saltimbocca

Subway                                Tuna

Snooker’s                            Chilly or Steak Tips (double steamed veggies + no sauce + no mushrooms)

Taco Bell                              Beefy-Nacho loaded griller; (* Chick Star)

Wendy’s                              Chilly or Salad

NOTE: Avoid items with asterisk (*) when dieting.

 

RI PLACES, TIMES & PEOPLE

Little Falls

(M-Th. 6-4, F 6-8, Sa. 6-5, Su. 6:30-3)

Jeff St. Germain & Matt (Owners)

Matt

Becky (Dark Hair)

Paul

Emily – Red

Elliot (new)

Jess & Son Danial

Sidney (Artist’s sister)

Marsha

Charlotte & Paul

The two Cathays

John (Library)

Marianna (NG)

Lea

Christen Cutty

Candice, Sylas & Lucky

Cork & Barrel

(Wine tasting F 4-5)

Larry & Ruth Spellman

Lesley (m)

Shanna (m)

Underground Billiards

(Tournament 7:00 Fridays – arrive 6:30)

Ryan & Rocky (Run Tournament)

Chelsea (Former bartender)

John V (Snookers League)

Joe – Young

Mario – Headphones

Brad

Lewis

Debby

John (Gutters) 5

Scott

Calvin

John

Village House

Cindy

Wauneta 210 B

Citizens Bank

(M-Th. 9-5, F 9-6, Sa. 9-1, Su. X)

Drive – Up (M-Th. 8-5, F 8-6, Sa. 9-1)

Cowesset Pizza

(M-F 11-10, Sa. 11 – 9, Su X)

MEDI, Warwick, RI (Stay Slim & Fat Burner) (401) 739-7900

(M 7-1, Tu. 8-7 closed 1-2, W X, Th 8-7

closed 1-2, F 7-1)

T-Mobil

(M-F 9-8, Sa. 9-7, Su. 11-5)

Big Cheese

Nichole

Revolution

Laurie & Steve

Planet Fitness

Kate

Little John’s

(m-th. 11-10, F & Sa. 11-6, Su. X)

 

GROCERY LIST

Fruit (Gala apples, cherries, green grapes)

Salad (greens, onions, tomatoes, pea pods, scallions)

Carrots (Sticks)

Scallions

Peperoni

Onions

Cabbage

Salad dressing (Walden Farms)

Roasted Chicken

Sliced Turkey

Sliced Ham

Eggs or Egg Salad

Ground Round

Ground Lamb

Tuna (Bumble Bee, Solid White Albacore, 3 oz.)

Yogurt (Chobani Greek Style, no fat, plain)

Flavoring (MIO, Dasani)

Jell-O

Crystal Lite (Raspberry Lemonade)

Water (Spring Jugs)

Water (Bottled)

Water with “Electrolytes”-Sodium & Potassium, (Smart

Water, Powerade Zero, Vitamin Water Zero)

Diet Orange “Crush “Soda

Margarine (Promise, low fat)

Pam Cooking Spray

Splendor Sweetener

Cheese (Cracker Barrel-Extra Sharp Cheddar Bars)

Miracle Whip

No Salt

Black Pepper

Heinz Reduced Sugar Tomato Ketchup

Mustard

Relish

Pepperoncini Peppers

Hot Banana Pepper Rings

Olives (sliced)

Seasoned Salt “Lawry’s”

Molly Mc Butter

Poultry Seasoning

“McCormick Grill Mates “Montreal Steak”

Eggstirs (1/4 c = 1 eggs) Small

Vegetables (Green Giant,

froze “Just for one”)

Shrimp (Fresh)

Meat Balls (fresh)

Coffee (“Gevalia” ground decaffeinated, filters)

Paper towels, napkins

Toilet paper

Paper plates, bowls

Plastic cups, silverware

Plastic bags (basket-4, kitchen-13, and trash-30)

Zip-lock (sandwich, medium, large)

Protein Drinks (Atkins – Dark Chocolate Royal Shake)

Meat Loaf (ground round,

onions, scallions, Eggstirs, peas, lima beans, Italian bread crumbs)

Popsicles (Sugar free)

*100 Calorie Snacks (cookies, bars, and candy)

*Bean Dip

Tropical

*Willow tree chicken salad

*seafood salad

*Raisin Bran/Corn flakes

*Crackers

*Pita chips

*Pasta/ Grated cheese

*Hummus

NOTE: Avoid items with * when trying to diet

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius.. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Learn how to become admired. Find out how to become the smartest person in the room. Discover how to appear professional. Find out how to appear knowledgeable. Learn how to obtain training as a public speaker.

 

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Jack’s Joke of the Day: “THE PRINCESS”

Princess

Jack’s

JOKE OF THE DAY

“The Princess”

 

There was a Kingdom, long ago, with a Princess who had a strange problem; everything she touched melted. Wood, stone or steel all melted.

The king was so concerned that he announced that anyone who could produce anything that did not melt, could have the Princesses hand in marriage.

Three Nights-in shining-armor showed up.

The first presented a sword of tungsten steel. But, when the Princess touched the sword, it melted.

The second presented a diamond. But, when the Princess touched the diamond, it melted.

The third said: “Put your hand in my pocket and touch whatever you find.” She did and it did not melt. What was it?

 

 

It was M&M’s, of course. They melt in your mouth; not in your hand.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a “MARKETING” genius. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Why do you want to tell jokes?

When someone tells a funny joke with great delivery, it makes people laugh and feel happy. It also helps them to like the person telling the joke, remember that person, and causes them think that you, as the joke teller, are smart. This enhances your reputation as “the smartest person in the room.”

I recommend preparing a list of “Joke Reminders”. As the name implies, is list of words that remind you of a joke. Like most people, I quickly forget jokes. So, when someone tells a joke that I like, I write a few words on the back of the monthly calendar that I always carry with me. Later, I think about the joke and try to improve upon it and memorize it including appropriate facial expressions and arm gestures.

That reminds me of a joke. “What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?” ……….. “It is called a speech impediment.”

 

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TRIP LISTS AVOID WORRY

TRIP LISTS

“Learn step-by-step how to prepare your Trip Lists that will help to give you a reputation as the smartest person in the room”.

By: John D. Gaskell, author of:

           How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room.

You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius.

 

My Trip Lists (Part 19 of a multi-part article)

I have provided the following three “Trip Lists”.

  • Trip Preparation List
  • Trip Packing List
  • Trip Last-Minute Reminders

 

None of these trip lists will cause you to be perceived to be “The Smartest Person in the Room.” But, they will simplify your life by making repetitive tasks easier and avoid forgetting things. If you are truly “smart”, you will not skip trip lists.

When you are planning a trip, print out all three lists and staple them together. The “Trip Preparation List” is for early planning. About a week before the trip, start packing using the “Trip Packing List”. A day or two before departure, start your last-minute packing using the “Trip Last-Minute Reminders” list.

Each of my lists are free to download from my website: http://www.TheEngineersResource.com. Just modify them to meet your needs.

 

TRIP PACKING LIST 

Wallet

Remove unnecessary things

Small amount of cash (including foreign)

Vest Pocket

Airline schedule

Trip Itinerary

Copy of directions from airport

First day’s “Daily Schedule”

Money Belt

Passport (if not leaving US)

Alternate Credit Card

Most of cash (including foreign currency)

Medication/vitamin list

Credit card list with phone numbers

Airline schedule

Checks

Rear Pants Packet

Primary credit cards

Driver’s License

Passport (if leaving US)

Carry-on Luggage

Copies of: Medication/vitamin schedule, Blood test schedule, Credit card list with phone numbers, Medical cards & AAA card, Calendar (2), Passport & photo, Airline schedule, Trip itinerary, Mailing list, Mailing labels, Return address labels, Grocery list, Driver’s License, Internet address/password summary.

Stamps & return address labels

Daily Schedule

Trip folder/binder

*Books for flight

*I-Pad & Charger Cable

Medications

*Insulin, & needles

*Blood tester, strips & lancets

*7-day Pill boxes

*Lap-top computer & cable

*Hot-Spot & cable

Camera

GPS

Checked-in Luggage

Clothing

Underpants (14 FL – 14 RI)

Undershirts (14 FL – 14 RI)

Sox (khaki) – (13 FL – 13 RI)

Sox (black) – (1 FL – 2 RI) Take all

Short Pants (8 FL – 7 RI) Take white

Exercise Jerseys (8 FL – 8 RI)

Exercise shorts & Sneakers (1 FL – 1 RI)

Shoes (Khaki & Black) Bring back & forth

Bathing suit (1 FL – 1 RI)

Handkerchiefs (10 RI – 10 FL)

Shirts (short) (1/2 in FL & 1/2 in RI)

Pants (sport & dress), & belts (1/2 in FL & 1/2 in RI)

Coats & sport coats

Rain Jacket (2 in FL & 2 in RI)

Sweaters & jerseys

Ties, pocket squares, suspenders

Rain hat & baseball cap

Suites

long raincoat

*Night shirt & night pants

Toiletries (In checked luggage)

Travel toiletries bag

Tooth brush, tooth paste & floss

Hair brush & hair spray

Shaving cream & razors

Shampoo, conditioner & body in-shower lotion

Deodorant, Q-tips & rash ointment

Cough drops, Nyquil, & cold pills

Hemorrhoid cream, Maalox, body moisturizer

Sun tan lotion & insect repellant

Ibuprofen

Blindfold & earplugs

Mouth wash

Sewing kit

Nail file, scissors & toe nail clippers

Diarrheal tablets

Lint roller

Band-Aids & antiseptic cream

Other (In checked luggage)

* Luggage Scale

Vitamins

Tour, phrase book & other books

*Tune belt w/ear phones & first-aid

Door latch

Glucose Tablets

Flashlight

Staplers, scissors & scotch tape

Sea-bands, radio, pool ques

Glasses: eye, sun, & reading/sun

Plastic bags (trash & kitchen)

Shout stain wipes

Ear phones

Extra pen

Extra luggage tag

Travel alarm

Phone chargers (house & car), camera download cable, camera battery charger, camera book, phone guide, and miscellaneous cables.

Voltage Adapter

Notebook, pen & pencil

Note: For items with * (asterisk) See “Trip Last-Minute Reminders”.

 

FLORIDA

Check Books (Citizens & TD)

Extra checks (4 sheets + 4 ledger sheets)

Florida Folder

Return Address Labels (1 page)

Stamps (a few)

Tax folder + Paid bills + Deposits + Statements

Other folders (review file draws – Fl. ins, etc.))

Pool Bag & Books

Put Cox on Vacation Hold until June 10th.

TRIP LAST-MINUTE REMINDERS 

Forward mail.

Set wake-up alarm.

Cancel housekeeper.

Put Cox on “Vacation Hold” until June 10th.

Schedule cab (noon the day before).

Weigh checked luggage.

Clean refrigerator & empty waste baskets & trash.

From car: pool cue inside condo, book for flight.

Money Pouch (verify that RI keys are inside).

Rain coat (in outside pocket of checked luggage).

Vitamins (in checked bag).

Medications in carry-on)

Foot cream (in checked bag).

Shoes (in checked bag).

Phone charger.

I-Pad & charger/cable.

Shut-off printer.

Computer, Hot spot, & cables.

Computer back-up & CD reader (in checked bag).

P J s.

Blood tester, strips & lancets.

Insulin & Needles.

7-day pill boxes, diet pills, & Metformin.

Re-weigh checked luggage and pack luggage scale.

RHODE ISLAND

Leave car keys on table & take loyalty tags.

Turn down heat.

Connect car battery charger & put sign on seat.

Leave list of things to check weekly at my condo.

Lock door with keys from money pouch.

FLORIDA

Install shutters.

Tell condo board that I am leaving.

Bring patio furniture inside.

Disconnect car battery and cover-over (do not lock doors).

Set A/C “on” & humidistat “on” and set temp. @ 78.

Shut off CB for water heater.

Shut off water in water heater closet (down).

Make sure that I have RI keys in money pouch.

Leave car remote/key & FL house keys in kitchen top draw.

Lock door with key from closet. Return key to closet and lock.

Leave cupboard above refrigerator open and fan on.

Take loyalty scanners to RI.

Close all windows including kitchen door windows.

 

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Learn how to become admired. Find out how to become the smartest person in the room. Discover how to appear professional. Find out how to appear knowledgeable. Learn how to obtain training as a public speaker.

 

Posted on

CONVERSATIONS STATEMENT

CONVERSATIONS STATEMENT

“Learn how your Conversations Statement will make you appear to be a brilliant conversationalist and will help to give you a reputation as the smartest person in the room”.

By: John D. Gaskell, author of:

           How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room.

You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius.

MY CONVERSATIONS STATEMENT (Part 16 of a multi-part article)

Conversations should include both questions and statements. But, encourage the other person to speak. People like to talk about themselves and their interests. Surprisingly, if the other person speaks 2/3 of the time, they will rate you as a great conversationalist.

It is usually best to precede questions with statements: “I am an electrical engineer and I designed electrical systems for buildings; lighting, power, fire alarm systems, for example. What type of work do you do?”.

Start by preparing a: “Conversations Statement”.

The following is my Conversations Statement:

 

CONVERSATIONS

 

ABOUT ME

Met my wife, Pat at her best friend’s 16th birthday party. I was 17 & she was 15. We Dated for    7 years and were married for 41 years. She died 6 months before I retired. But, I am blessed; we were together almost 50 years.

We have 2 children & 2 grandchildren.

I am an EE. I started my own Consulting Engineering firm on my 29th birthday. I later added Forensic Engineering and we grew to 11 people and I sold to a large engineering firm and I retired.

I split my time between my homes in RI & FL. I play pool, read, and write & publish books.

BOOKS

Michael Connelly

Harry Bosch – Las Angeles

John Sanford

Lucas Davenport – The Prey series – Minnesota

James Paterson – too many books

MOVIES

Fury – Brad Pitt, WW2 Tank movie

Braveheart – Mel Gibson – Gibson portrays William Wallace, a 13th-century Scottish warrior who led the Scots in the First War of Scottish Independence.

Star Wars – The first film in the series, Star Wars, was released in 1977. It was one of the first movies to mix animation with human characters.

CONCERTS

Neil Diamond – Fenway Park – It has been 23 years since I had a “hit”. Yet hear I am and there you are.

Billy Joel

Elton John

TRAVEL

San Francisco – This summer I am taking both of my grandchildren to San Francisco. We will  first spend 2 nights a Yosemite National Park followed by 5 nights in the city.

Europe – France & Italy with 15-year-old grandson in 2015.

3 nights in Paris (St. Germain), no French food – not even a croissant – pizza or McDonalds, Moulin Rouge (His first taste of Champaign and possibly his first view of live teaties.), Catacombs, “Botobus de Paris”, & Monet’s gardens @ Giverny.

We traveled by train to other cities:

Carcassonne, France – (a 13th century walled city); Monte Carlo, Monaco; Nice, France; Sirmione, Italy, (Castle on lake Gouda with harbor for the lake fleet.); Verona, Italy (The home   of Romeo & Juliet); Venice, Italy (Gondolas, St. Mark’s Square, Palazzo Ducale, Murano.); Sorento, Italy; Amalfi, Italy; Rome, Italy.

Parris – I plan to take my granddaughter, Jillian, to Paris when she is 16, if she can keep up    with me.

Ireland (Ring of Kerry) & England (London)

Baltic Cruise (Chorley in Lancashire)

South America – Norwegian Cruise including Panama Cannel

Bermuda

Caribbean including Nassau & Paradise Island

Home Exchanges (Norborne – Grison, France; Verona, Italy; Vancouver, Canada; Seattle, WA; Acapulco, Mexico.)

US National Parks (Including Chicago, Ill.; Las Vegas & Las Angeles.) Michael Connelly – Harry Bosch’s places.

HOBIES

Pool (Packet Billiards); Reading; Gym.

Writing & publishing books

After you prepare your “Conversation Statement”, try to commit most of it to memory. If you keep referring to your notes, you will not look smart.

Do not tell your whole life story before asking about the person that you are meeting. After talking about basics, here are some suggestions:

o          “Since I have been retired, I have found the time to read. My favorite author is Michael Connelly. He has written 24 detective novels based in Las Angeles with the main character Harry Bosch. The key reason that I like these books, so much, is that Harry is brilliant, but abrasive. Do you do much reading?”

o          If they say no. Move on to another topic: “What do you like to do in your spare time?” or “Tell me a little bit more about you.” Give a nice smile and wait for a response, before proceeding.

o          “What is your favorite movie? Or “Have you seen any good movies, lately?”

o          “I love live concerts. My favorite performers are: Neil Dimond, Billy Joel, and Elton John. I once attended a concert with both Billy Joel and Elton John, at The Boston Garden. It was great! Have you been to any live concerts?”

o          “This summer I took both of my grandchildren to San Francisco. We planned to spend the first 2 nights at Yosemite National Park, but there were fires near-by and thick smoke. So, we spent all 6 nights in the city. On the way home both grandchildren said that San Francisco is their favorite city. Have you done much traveling?”

o          “Since I have been retired, my hobby has been writing and publishing books. It is a lot of fun and it keeps me busy. What hobbies do you have?”

 

But, remember that most people like to talk about themselves and their interests. So, encourage them to talk. Try to look interested and ask lots of questions.

If you can’t get meaningful responses, move on. There are usually some interesting people in every group.

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Learn how to become admired. Find out how to become the smartest person in the room. Discover how to appear professional. Find out how to appear knowledgeable. Learn how to obtain training as a public speaker.

 

Posted on

A SINGLE WOMAN WALKS INTO A BAR

The Overprotective Mother The Single Woman

Jack’s JOKE OF THE DAY

“A SINGLE WOMAN WALKS INTO A BAR”

Shortly after a single woman arrived at her favorite bar in Florida, a handsome man came in and sat next to her. She said: “I haven’t seen you here before. Is this your first visit?” He replied: “Well, actually this is my first time back in 20 years.” She said: “Why did you wait so long?” He said: “To tell you the truth, I have been in prison.” She said: “Oh my. If you don’t mind me asking, why were you in prison?” He replied: “I’m not proud of it, but I killed my wife.” She asked: “Soo, your single?”

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a “MARKETING” genius. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Why do you want to tell jokes?

When someone tells a funny joke with great delivery, it makes people laugh and feel happy. It also helps them to like the person telling the joke, remember that person, and causes them think that you, as the joke teller, are smart. This enhances your reputation as “the smartest person in the room.” Most people laugh at “A single woman walks into a bar.” There are a lot of single woman in Florida.

I recommend preparing a list of “Joke Reminders”. As the name implies, is list of words that remind you of a joke. Like most people, I quickly forget jokes. So, when someone tells a joke that I like, I write a few words on the back of the monthly calendar that I always carry with me. Later, I think about the joke and try to improve upon it and memorize it including appropriate facial expressions and arm gestures.

That reminds me of a joke. “What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?” ……….. “It is called a speech impediment.”

Posted on

“THE OVERPROTECTIVE MOTHER”

The Overprotective Mother The Single Woman

 

“The Overprotective Mother”

This new mother always walked her son to school and met him after school to walk him home. When she took him to the playground, she held his hand when he went down the slide.

One day his mother took him to the beach, but she was very careful. She told him not to go in over his knees and she stood next to him with her toes in the water. However, a big wave came in and swept him out over-his-head. The mother jumped up and down screaming.

Just then another big wave pushed him back on shore. He landed on his feet and said: “I’m fine Mom. Don’t worry. Everything is OK.” She responded: “No it’s not OK! Where is your hat?”

Why do you want to tell jokes?

When someone tells a funny joke with great delivery, it makes people laugh and feel happy. It also helps them to like the person telling the joke, remember that person, and causes them think that you, as the joke teller, are smart. This enhances your reputation as “the smartest person in the room.”

I recommend preparing a list of “Joke Reminders”. As the name implies, this is list of words that remind you of a joke. Like most people, I quickly forget jokes. So, when someone tells a joke that I like, I write a few words on the back of the monthly calendar that I always carry with me. Later, I think about the joke and try to improve upon it and memorize it including appropriate facial expressions and arm gestures.

That reminds me of a joke. “What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?” ……….. “It is called a speech impediment.”

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a “MARKETING” genius. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

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HOW TO START CONVERSATIONS

HOW TO START CONVERSATIONS

“Learn step-by-step how to start and manage conversations and it will help to give you a reputation as the smartest person in the room”.

By: John D. Gaskell, author of:

           How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room.

You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius.

 

Conversation Statements (Part 15 of a multi-part article)

Introduction

Realize that people judge your intelligence at your first meeting. Learn how to let the circumstances of meeting someone determine the start of the conversation. Understand why you should encourage the other person to speak. Discover what a “Conversation Statement” is and why you need one. Topics that you might include: about me, books, movies, concerts, travel and hobbies. Notice why you should commit most of your “Conversation Statement” to memory. Grasp why asking about the person that you are meeting is a priority.

 

Starting a conversation

When meeting someone for the first time, starting a conversation can often be awkward and uncomfortable. I recommend letting the circumstances of the meeting determine the start. If you meet at a personal event, like a house party or wedding, say: “Hi, I’m _____ I work with Gary. How do you know Gary & Alice?” If you meet in a public place, perhaps say: “Hi, I’m _____. I haven’t seen you hear before. Do you come hear often?

Notice that these “conversation starters” have two parts: first, an introduction and second, a question. The introduction alerts the person that you are talking to them and the question prompts a response. Be prepared with follow-up questions like: Are you from this area?

 

“Conversation Questions”

Conversations should include both questions and statements. But, encourage the other person to speak. People like to talk about themselves and their interests. Surprisingly, if the other person speaks 2/3 of the time, they will rate you as a great conversationalist.

It is usually best to precede questions with statements: “I am an electrical engineer and I designed electrical systems for buildings; lighting, power, fire alarm systems, for example. What type of work do you do?”.

Start by preparing a: “Conversation Statement”.

 

“Conversation Statement”

Make a list of things about you that you may want to share with others and questions that you should ask to learn about people that you meet and to show an interested in them.

We all have this list in our heads, but we can’t always think of each category or the names and details on the spear of the moment. Study and memorize your list and start to be considered the smartest person in the room.

ABOUT ME

Your family, career, where you live, and interests.

BOOKS

Three favorite authors and books; and be prepared to voice 3-6 sentences about each book.

MOVIES

Three favorite movies and be ready to speak 3-6 sentences about each.

CONCERTS

Your three favorite entertainers

TRAVEL

Information about your trips to interesting places, both past and planned.

HOBBIES

How you spend your spare time.

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Learn how to become admired. Find out how to become the smartest person in the room. Discover how to appear professional. Find out how to appear knowledgeable. Learn how to obtain training as a public speaker.

 

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JOKE TELLERS ARE POPULAR

JOKE TELLERS ARE POPULAR

“Learn how telling jokes will cause people to like you and help to give you a reputation as the smartest person in the room”.

By: John D. Gaskell, author of:

           How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room.

You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become a MARKETING genius.

SAMPLE JOKES (Part 18 of a multi-part article)

Why do you want to tell jokes?

When someone tells a funny joke with great delivery, it makes people laugh and feel happy. It also helps them to like the person telling the joke, remember that person, and causes them think that you, as the joke teller, are smart. This enhances your reputation as “the smartest person in the room.”

 

  • Talking Dog

 

A guy was walking down the street and saw a dog on someone’s front lawn. Next to the dog is a sign: Talking Dog for Sale. He looks at the sign and then at the dog and says: “I don’t believe it.” The dog speaks-up and says: “It’s true. I have been able to speak since I was just a pup. As a matter of fact, I have had a great career as a spy. They ship me off to conferences. I sit in the corner like I am taking a nap, but I remember everything and come back and tell my handlers.

 

The guy said: “That’s fantastic. Why are they selling you?” The dog says: “I don’t know.” The guy goes up to the door. When someone comes he asks: “How much do you want for the dog?” The homeowner replies: “You can have him for $20.” The man asks: “Why only $20 for a talking dog?” The homeowner replied: “That dog is a liar. He has never been out of the front yard.”

 

Near my home in Florida there is a little Italian restaurant that I had been going to once a week; not because of the food, but because of the pretty blond waitress. When I told her this joke, she stopped me when I got to the spot where I said: “The dog spoke up.” She asked: “Is this a true story?” You know, I haven’t been back to that restaurant since.

 

  • Woman wakes-up from operation

 

A woman was in the hospital waking up from an operation when she has an epiphany and sees god. She asks: “Did I die?” God said: “No; you have another 30 years left.” So, after the woman was fully awake she thought. If I have another 30 years, maybe I should have a little work done while I am here in the hospital. So, she had a face-lift, a tummy-tuck and a boob-job. “The Works”. When she was leaving the hospital, she was hit by a bus and ended up in heaven.

 

She said to God: “What happened?” God shrugged and said: “I didn’t recognize you”.

 

  • $70 bucks is $70 bucks

A couple went to a country fair, where they were offering helicopter rides for 70 dollars. The guy said to his wife: “I have always wanted to go up in a helicopter.” The wife replied: “$70 bucks is $70 bucks”.

 

The next year they go back to the same fair, and the guy said to his wife: “I am 75 this year. I may not get another chance to go up in a helicopter.” She replied: “$70 bucks is $70 bucks”.

 

The pilot overheard the conversation and said: I’ll make a deal with you. You both go up with me and if neither of you says a word, it’s free. If either of you speaks up, it’s $70 bucks.”

 

So, they went up. The piolet does some “loop-de-loops” and there’s silence. When they land, the pilot says: “I can’t believe that nobody said anything.” The guy said: “I almost spoke up when my wife fell out, but $70 bucks is $70 bucks.”

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to become s MARKETING genius. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Learn how to become admired. Find out how to become the smartest person in the room. Discover how to appear professional. Find out how to appear knowledgeable. Learn how to obtain training as a public speaker.

 

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WHAT ARE JOKE REMINDERS

 JOKE REMINDERS

“Learn how Joke Reminders will help you to remember jokes, so that you can make people laugh and enhance your reputation as the smartest person in the room”.

By: John D. Gaskell, author of:

           How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room.

You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to stand-out.

MY JOKE REMINDERS (Part 17 of a multi-part article)

“Joke Reminders”, as the name implies, is list of words that remind you of a joke. Like most people, I quickly forget jokes. So, when someone tells a joke that I like, I write a few words on the back of the monthly calendar that I always carry with me. Later, I think about the joke and try to improve upon it and memorize it including appropriate facial expressions and arm gestures.

That reminds me of a joke. “What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?” ……….. “It is called a speech impediment.”

Why do you want to tell jokes?

When someone tells a funny joke with great delivery, it makes people laugh and feel happy. It also helps them to like the person telling the joke, remember that person, and causes them think that you, as the joke teller, are smart. This enhances your reputation as “the smartest person in the room.”

The following are my current “Joke Reminders”:

 

JOKE REMINDERS

CLEAN

Short

What did god say to the Pollocks

Italian w/ 1 arm shorter than other

You are very sick – 2nd opinion

Longer

Talking Dog

Where is your hat

SOO your single

Princess touched – melted

Me before my operation

Family of mice

Rocking Chair

Dwarf

Bank hold-up

Blond: Do you think he will jump?

Golfer: massage therapist

2 Blonds in mirror at bar

Woman wakes-up from operation

California or the moon

Redhead/blond broken finger

Restaurant – Flower: Rose

Three Nickels

$70 bucks is $70 bucks

Best Last kiss

Brunet/blond w/broken finger

Blond – mirror -police officer

ADULT

Penguin

Stop masturbating

Weiner contest: Redneck 21

Smaller than a AAA battery

Confession – 94-year-old/ sex w 24

Ghost Sex

Paratrooper

Hind – Lick maneuver

Ringing in ears

JOKES FOR KIDS

Q: What goes up and down but does not move? A: Stairs

Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed.
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places!
Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it would be a foot!
Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks? A: Her nose!
Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck!
Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive? A: A Minnie van!
Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank? A: To make a clean get away!

If you truly want to be perceived as “The smartest person in the room”, get Jack’s new book: How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room, and learn the details. You are what you are perceived to be. Let me show you how to stand-out. Visit: TheEngineersResource.com to find out more.

Excerpted from How to become the “SMARTEST PERSON” in the Room. © 2018 John D. Gaskell. Used with permission of Professional Value Books, Inc. All rights reserved. Order at TheEngineersResource.com. Use coupon code “room” and save.

Learn how to become admired. Find out how to become the smartest person in the room. Discover how to appear professional. Find out how to appear knowledgeable. Learn how to obtain training as a public speaker.